So She Dances: Balance
by The Sketchywallflowr
Summary: A response to a challenge given by OriginalBubble; River finds a way to balance herself in her own hectic mind. One-shot.


Author's Note: This was a response to a surprising challenge given to me by OriginalBubble. She asked for "A River fic based on the song 'So She Dances' sung by Josh Groban." It is a Rayne fic, and works best when you envision this mostly from his point of view. I'm not sure if this is what OB had in mind, but this is what she gets. Thanks for reading me, love.

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Disclaimer: All characters are property of Joss Whedon.

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So She Dances: Balance

It was all about balance- balance of meds, balance of sobriety, balance of noise, balance of quiet. River often feared that the natural balance of her world had been thrown, and she would never find a way to get it back. Sometimes her head got too noisy, so she kept her voice in a tiny space so it couldn't come out. At night the ship could get so cold, so silent, so she would have to scream and run just to make waves.

Wash had a beautiful voice. He usually only sang when he was drunk, so its perfection and soothing melody were hidden behind garbled, garrish slurs. He had a guqin, a small Chinese harp, hidden beneath his bed. He would only play for Zoe, and that was only when she begged. Wash was the funny man, quick with a joke and a smirk, and he didn't let on how deep his soul could be. Kaylee was sweet, Zoe was intense, Jayne was intimidating, Mal was wise, Inara was gentle, Sheperd Book was patient, Simon was precise and River was lost. Wash had to keep his balance on Serenity.

Jayne hated watched the moon brain walk about the ship. She looked too delicate, but angry and fierce. If butterflies would kill, that's what she'd be. It made him uncomfortable. She was strikingly beautiful, and he knew she could destroy him. She were capable of all manner of scaries, when you got right down to it. But she fascinated him all the same. He was getting afraid of caring, of even liking her. At the very least, not hating her. He still feared her, and love plus fear equaled a kind of math Jayne was even less fond of than the regular kind. He watched her in secret, when no one else was around. River caught him once in awhile, but in that kind of situation he glared at her and told her to shut her trap, then stalked off muttering about her moon brain acting up again. Maybe she knew better, and wasn't fooled for an instant by his gruffness. Maybe not.

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Tonight River Tam was listless. She supposed this was balancing out from this morning, when they'd had real cream and oatmeal at breakfast. Whenm she'd drowned her oats in sweet mily goodness, and taken her first bite, all the world melted away and there was only flavor. It was intense and startling and overwhelming. She felt alive, really alive, for the first time in ages. Every subsequent bite had lacked the effect of the first, but they were all heavenly.

Tonight, though, it was just serene. She just lay sprawled on the couch in the common room, her loose-fitted pants draped around her legs like circus tents. Simon and Kaylee talked quietly across from her, Kaylee in the infirmary doorway and Simon cleaning his tools. He liked to be immaculate, as though that somehow might save him from the life he'd fallen into. Jayne was in his own chair, sharpening a large knife and keeping to himself. River knew he glanced her way a few times, but she didn't acknowledge it. Tonight the fight was gone from her. She was simply empty.

Wash came downstairs carrying something under his arm. It was a long, smooth black case. Everyone was watching him, but no one inquired. Not yet. He sat on the floor, placing the case in front of him. With a small smile, he unlatched the clasps and lifted the top. Inside, gleaming like moonlight, was the guqin. Wash lifted it carefully from its resting place, setting it on his lap long enough to close the case and then placed the perfectly polished black harp on top. As he slid three finger picks onto his right hand, Mal and Zoe came softly from the top of the stairs, watching quietly. Wash plucked a few strings, twisting the tuning pegs to get a clear, rich sound. Kaylee and Simon stopped talking altogether, and everyone waited. The air felt heacy around them as Wash, the smile still etched onto his lips, ran a gently finger over the thick strings.

Immediately the room lit up like fire, the deep music resonating through their bodies. Suddenly, Wash's fingers eased up, and the music lifting from the strings was light and full of air, like bubbles popping on flower petals. River sat upright, the music carrying her. As he began to sing, his voice soft, River closed her eyes and let the feeling wash over her.

"_A waltz when she walks in the room  
She pulls back the hair from her face  
She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight  
Even her shadow has grace..._"

Before she could stop herself, River rose to her feet, an air of elegance around her she hadn't felt since the day she'd danced with gypsies. Her hair swished across her shoulders as she swayed, her body experimenting with the tune. The simple plucks from the taut strings flowed through her like fragrance, a sensation you couldn't hold in even if you wanted to. Her willowy arms swayed gently, as though a breeze carried her. She twirled in a circle, just once, letting herself become dizzy. Two tiny tears ran streams down her cheeks, and she did not wipe them away. She could feel the power of the song, could hear the romance in Wash's voice, could see the silvery elegance of a song with deeper meaning. Her heart swelled with emotion, and a smile broke out on her lips.

"_This romance is  
From afar calling me silently  
A waltz for the chance I should take  
But how will I know where to start?_"

Jayne placed his knife down onto the table beside him, his sharp eyes fixed on the little crazy girl. She looked so peaceful, so content, like Wash's song was hypnotizing her and she was glad to be controlled. Truth be told, Jayne had no idea the pilot was so damn melodic. His voice was rather soothing, but also powerful and commanding. It infiltrated Jayne's head and took over the space therein. _She's spinning between constellations and dreams, her rhythm is my beating heart..._ Jayne's pulse quickened as River began to twirl faster, her feet in a perfect point as she spun in the small space. She looked like a ballerina in a music box, her delicate form never leaving that one solid spot. Her hair whipped around her wildly. The fruity fragrance of it wafted to Jayne, and he found himself intoxicated with it.

"Dance," River purred and she slowed, her eyes opening and stopping on the merc. Her smile was sweet and deadly, a poisoned wine you would gladly drink. He made a face at her, well aware that everyone was staring at the two of them and it was completely out of the question. River stood alone on the floor, her hand outstretched toward him. "Dance with me," she clarified.

"No," he told her. The music never left his head. _I can't keep on watching forever, I give up this view just to tell her..._ Slowly, Jayne rose to his feet. He didn't know a damn thing about dancing, but that didn't seem like it should matter. All he could recognize was the music engulfing him, the dimness of the lights and the beautiful, crazy girl reaching out to him. "This is stupid," he told her flatly, but he took her hand regardless. She placed one of his hands on her back, cupped the other with her own, and started moving in a circle. The waltz, if Jayne remebered properly. He'd seen Mal learning it awhile ago.

"_The spotlights are bright on you and me  
We've got the floor  
And you're in my arms  
How could I ask for more?_"

"Do you feel it?" River whispered, leaning in close.

"Your butt?" Jayne muttered, lowering his hand slightly.

"The music," she told him, desperate for him to understand. "The life." She stood up on her toes, kissing him softly on the mouth. "The balance."

"_So she dances  
In and out of the crowd like a glance  
This romance is  
From afar calling me silently_

I can't keep on watching forever  
And I'm givin' up this view just to tell her."

The sweet strumming on Wash's harp ended, the last few notes still drifting in the air. Kaylee slipped her hand in Simon's, a teary smile on her face. Zoe nuzzled her nose into her husband's neck, breathing deep the comforting scent of him. Sheperd Book, watching from the top of the stairs, smiled (against his better judgement) at Jayne and River as they swayed together in the middle of the room, everyone else forgotten.

"That was real nice," Mal said genuinely. "Say, Wash, you know any songs where _I _end up dancing with a pretty girl at the end of 'em?"


End file.
